Ever feel like running away from the world and avoiding your problems? Good news: that means you’re human. Avoidance is a natural reaction to stress, and it can take some practice to learn how to face your problems head-on.
Many people turn to drug and alcohol use as a method of avoiding their problems. While this is an incredibly effective short-term solution, it results in compounding stress that grows over time. Here, we’ll learn more about avoidance, the effects of using drugs and alcohol as a method of avoiding problems, and what you can do to move toward more effective methods of managing stress.
What is Avoidance?
Avoidance means shying away from stress, fear, or other negative feelings instead of facing the problem. While avoidance works to eliminate negative feelings in the moment, it’s not a long-term solution for stress management.
Avoiding problems often causes them to get worse, making the issue more difficult to manage. It can be tempting to squash negative feelings with drugs and alcohol, but it’s a healthier choice to face and deal with problems as they appear.
Effects of Using Substances for Avoidance
Using drugs and alcohol to avoid stress and other negative feelings is a form of self-medication. Over time, the use of substances for the management of stress, fear, guilt, anger, and other negative emotions can result in addiction.
It’s especially important that people who are in recovery from substance abuse issues work to develop ways to attack and manage stress, rather than shy away from problems.
Coping with Stress and Negative Emotions
Facing Problems Head-On
Dealing with stressors as soon as possible as they arise is ideal for managing stress effectively. If it’s not possible to deal with a stressor right away, it’s smart to create a step-by-step plan for how the stressor will be managed.
If you’re in the beginning stages of your recovery, it’s likely that you’re dealing with some issues (financial, relational, familial, etc.) that have been pushed to the wayside while you were in active addiction. Talking with people directly about your experience and your recovery can be a helpful way to open the door to healing and dealing with past wounds.
Working with a therapist can also help you learn techniques that can allow you to manage stress as it comes, without using avoidance as a coping strategy.
Processing Trauma
Many people who have experienced addiction to drugs and alcohol are living with trauma. Unresolved trauma can make it incredibly difficult to deal with the stressors of daily life in a healthy way. It makes sense that some people choose to avoid the feelings associated with trauma by shutting down stress and other negative emotions with drugs and alcohol.
If you think you have unresolved trauma in your life, it’s important to work with a therapist who can help you process your experience. Finding the right therapist for you can feel a lot like dating—it’s likely that you’ll need to try a few options before you find one that’s a good fit for your needs. In your intake session, remember—you can ask your therapist questions as well. You may want to ask about their experience in treating trauma and let them know the issues you’re bringing to the table. If they’re unable to properly help you process your experiences, they will be able to refer you to someone who may be a better fit for your needs.
Communication
It’s important to honor yourself and your truth when you communicate with others. Many people who are in recovery find that they struggle to be honest with others about their needs and feelings due to a fear that they’ll be rejected, or that their expressed needs will not be met. It can take some practice to become comfortable with sharing your honest self with others.
At the beginning of the recovery process, you may find that some people you thought you could depend on to be there for you are no longer interested in a relationship since you’re no longer using. This can be disheartening and can create new stress.
It’s important to create a social support system filled with people who value your feelings. This takes time—often longer than you’d expect—and should not be rushed. When developing your support system, take the time to consider whether a new friend’s presence adds value to your life. It’s key to think about whether you actually like and derive happiness from the people you choose to surround yourself with—instead of just focusing on whether they like and enjoy your company.
New Stress Management Techniques
Lastly, it’s key to develop stress management techniques that help you manage the stress that comes with facing your problems. It’s easy to fall back into old habits if you haven’t worked closely with a therapist or other mental health professional to discover the stress management skills that can help you face your problems. Choosing to exercise, participate in a hobby, meditate, go to a meeting, or taking part in another healthy way to manage stress can be tough at first. Learning to face your problems head-on isn’t easy, and developing the stress management techniques that allow you to get comfortable facing stressful issues is an important part of the addiction recovery process.
References
[1] Substance Use & Misuse. The relationship between substance use, experiential avoidance, and personally meaningful experiences. [2] Psychology of Addictive Behaviors. Social anxiety and coping motives for cannabis use: The impact of experiential avoidance. [3] Addictive Behaviors. Craving management: Exploring factors that influence momentary craving-related risk of cannabis use among young adults.