Kate’s Addiction Recovery Story
Kate’s struggle with addiction began early in her life, taking control of her thoughts and actions when she was only eleven years old. It was important to her that her friends liked her, and she wanted to feel like she fit in. Unfortunately, at the time, her friends were finding new ways to keep busy and have “fun”, which included weed, Adderall, and cocaine. But after high school, her toxic relationship sent her over the edge. It was four years of a downward spiral, and it just kept getting darker and darker and darker.
“I was doing things, saying things, and becoming somebody I never wanted to be. I was in a toxic relationship that was substance filled, and I knew I had a problem. I couldn’t even get through a day or a week without picking up one thing or another or trading substances for a shopping addiction.”
Her fight for sobriety started a couple of rehab centers back. However, various aspects, such as co-occurring disorders like trauma and anxiety, fueled her addiction, and she could not recover as she had hoped. The clarity hit her when she looked in a mirror for a little longer than usual. Faced with only herself – a set of eyes stared back at her – but she didn’t recognize them as her own anymore. It was a harsh reality that became etched in her mind as she continued finding her path to recovery.
“I was getting ready to go out one night, and I was looking at my makeup mirror. And I didn’t even recognize myself. It was the worst case of body dysmorphia, but I didn’t know who I was looking at anymore. And I had this God intervention moment where I just completely turned off that side of me because that side of me would have landed me in a box.”
Once she began trying to get help, the onslaught of negative self-talk, doubt, relapse, and denial that she wasn’t “that bad” kept getting in her way.
“I’m definitely a bullheaded, stubborn person, and my biggest problem at first was admitting that I was powerless over it because I thought I had control of everything else. I had a relationship. I had a place that I had of my own. I had a car. I was like, “‘I can’t be a drug addict. I’m not on the streets doing heroin.”’ And then I started using that. “‘But I’m not doing crack.”’ Then I started using that. It’s like everything I said I wouldn’t be; I ended up being.”
“I never lied, cheated, or did those things to anybody else. The only person I was deceiving in life was myself. And that’s why it got so much worse for me. Still, I had to have those rock bottom moments where I didn’t recognize myself because it drove me to get sober and clean. After all, no one comes to rehab on a good day – you have to be in the pits of despair to want to climb out to something better.”
In addition, she discussed her experiences as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, explaining how difficult it can be for people who are considered to be different. The process comes with a lot of trauma, confusion, and sometimes drugs; as people deal with the hardships that consume them, they seek to self-medicate the pain.
“You’re not alone if you don’t want that life. Because that life is not sustainable, you can have more and deserve more. I think the drugs, especially methamphetamine and fentanyl now coming onto the scene; you never know how many milligrams are in there, and they’re being pressed in shady environments. As much as people glamorize drugs, It’s never the answer. It tears you apart, inside and out, spiritually, mentally, and physically. It’s so normalized now, and you don’t realize how much you base your life around your addiction.”
However, Kate finally received the help she needed, and she’s no longer in the dark about how happy one can truly become when drugs and alcohol are no longer involved.
“I think what surprised me the most about recovery is how happy I am every single day. I never thought sober me could be happy, do all the fun things I wanted to do, and still be funny and goofy. I always thought people loved me more when I was messed up. But truly, people love me way more, just for me.”
“I can’t thank Discovery Point Retreat enough because, from the bottom of my heart, I would not be sitting here today without them. And I know it may sound corny, but it’s the truth. I can say no other treatment centers are set up like this. Most are just 30-day residential stays. This is 30 days residential, another 30 of partial hospitalization, and another 30 of intensive outpatient. So by the time you’re out of here, you have 90 days of sobriety under your belt. Your body’s starting to renew; your brain functions are better. And all of this therapy, I wish more people could get this much therapy.”
“I want to be me. And I had the hardest time in life finding out who I really was. But truly, this time around, I’ve found Kate, and I love her.”
If you or someone you love is in need of help, contact us today at 855-306-8054. Discovery Point Retreat is here to support you through recovery no matter where you are in your journey.
